Its two months to my big day, a day of rejoicing and celebration. I'm panicking at this moment because both of our rooms are a complete mess and the cards are not done yet. Thanks to my super busy brother who's designing the card,i constantly have to hound him to finish. Lots of questions seem to pile up inside my head whenever i'm alone or whenever i have time to ponder. I've been hurt and betrayed a great deal by this man i'll be spending the rest of my life with. I know i have to forgive him for all the betrayal he's caused but somehow its really hard to let go of all the things he has done. There's always this fear inside of me and i really hope that i can forgive him one day. Things he said will always be remembered and never will it be forgotten. I hate it when i get flashbacks of all the mean things he has done to me.
Its strange how someone you love and devote yourself to could actually stoop so low as to submit to his inner demons and then cause your life to crash and burn. I truly am afraid of how the future will be together. Somehow the assurances i seem to need are the ones i'm not getting from him. Never have i faced the challenge of being with such a difficult person in my life. I truly am afraid. God help me.
1 comment:
insyaallah, matters of the heart are kinder after the vows. seems so for me.
Post a Comment